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Posts Tagged ‘year of the poodle’
photo by rqerita
I spent this morning talking to my mom about my dad.
“Remember that car he drove when he was in Texas? It used to get so hot that he tried to fry an egg on it,” both of us laughing because that was so like him. He would open cans of ravioli and vegetables and heat them on the stove for my sister and me when we were little. Then we would stand by the stove and eat out of the cans. No pots, no dishes to wash.
Very efficient.
Yes, he was an engineer. Capable of figuring out amazingly complex things and yet, clueless in the everyday world we lived in.
Now, on Father’s Day, Seth and I were on a trolley crossing a bridge from San Diego to Coronado and the guide said, “You’ll notice that the bridge has a few odd twists to it. That is because it had to be high enough for navy ships to pass under it but that made it too steep for trucks and buses so the bridge so they added a few extra turns and loops.” I was fascinated. Then I realized this was exactly how my father felt every time we crossed a bridge that had a unique structure or detail to it. I remember him pulling the car off the road, not to admire the view, what a silly thought, but to examine the beams of a bridge. He said there was great beauty in the solution the engineers came to in answering the simple yet difficult problem of how to cross from one side to another. Form and function fused in a steely poem. Of course, I thought he was nuts and what on earth could be so interesting about a bridge?
When I think sit down to play through my well worn book of piano sonatas, I feel the same thrill he did. I often stop and scrutinize the beginning theme, the key changes, the codas and the variations and come away in awe of how brilliantly Beethoven created his musical answer to the classical sonata form.
And this is something I do whenever I see a structure in life that is beautiful in form and function. The bridge in San Diego, the well thought out presentation by Jean Bonilla about the potential of entrepreneurship in global economies at the Americans for the Arts Convention this past weekend in San Diego, an etude by Chopin. I look for the structural thinking and the details that make it soar. I think like my father, the engineer.
He would smile knowing that I love bridges and how that has helped me see the inner logic of an engineer’s mind as well as the inner castles of a composer’s inspiration.
What a gift.
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Hoong Yee
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photo by bayan 160
He was tall, dark haired with a thoughtful look in his eyes. Everything about him was right, I knew he was the one who could help me.
I walked towards him, the question burning in my mind, my heart beating a little faster with each step. He was sitting alone and I could easily grab his attention.
I took a deep breath and as soon as the words left my lips, I realized how ridiculous I sounded. My face turned a blushing red, my mouth open in disbelief, my God, how did this happen?
He, however, gazed at me and repeated my question with a faint smile.
“Where can I find romance?”
I felt my ears burn.
“Hard cover or soft cover?”
Gulp. “Hard. I mean, hard cover.”
“Second row of shelves in the back of the library. “ He turned his gaze, thank God, to the next person on the information line as I slipped away.
Where do you find romance?
I prefer less mortifying experiences. But that’s just me. Luckily, the ladies in the Carpool Court agree with me that the search for romance should be a less public endeavor and we have decided to get together for Romance Night at our house. We are going to talk about what we like to read, what authors we follow, what types of characters we are drawn to and what we are going to drink. Not necessarily in that order, of course.
Yes, I admit. I am intrigued with romance. And I think you are too. So what I am going to do is capture some great conversation and write a romance story.
In hard cover.
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If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
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Hoong Yee
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photo by loz:::lozzy’s photos photostream
Four women were having a conversation. Sounds like a joke, doesn’t it?
We were talking about having affairs, cheating, and amazing sex.
“I loved Arnold and I feel so betrayed!”
The woman looked at me and I actually believed her anguish. “There was always something about him that I liked, even when he was Conan the Barbarian.”
“Well HELLO – that was a body to love!”
“What was he thinking?”
“Well, that’s just it. He wasn’t thinking, his little brain was thinking.”
Now all of the mothers riding the schoolbus with me turned around with something to say about Arnold. If any of you have had the experience of chaperoning a class trip with thirteen year olds through Brooklyn and into Manhattan on a school bus, you know that all conversation becomes a yelling match.
“Can you imagine him bedhopping between her and his wife?
“Look, he was in a position of power, maybe she really fell for him.”
One of the women leaned in, her eyes flashing. “Imagine how hot the sex must have been.”
Well, that was it. We did not talk about anything else except sex for the rest of the trip.
“Oh my God, the passion!”
” – like make up after the fight sex…”
” – the danger of getting caught…”
” – temptation, forbidden fruit…”
” – can you imagine how wild and hot it must have been?”
” Hey, open that window, it’s getting hot in here.”
Women are more interested in the power of the attraction that could make a man lose everything in a moment of passion.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
Seth and Dr. Krantzow
When I saw him peel his shirt off and bare his soul to the other man in the room, I knew it was time to go.
Does your husband need you?
Seth got up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. He grabbed his left shoulder and could not move without wincing. We found ourselves in the ER of Peninsula Hospital where we spent a good part of the day in a time-has-no-meaning state of mind. I held his arm, helped him sit down, barked at nurses and did everything I could to make him as comfortable as possible until the doctors could see him.
This is one of those times I think about spending time together with the one you love. I am guilty of assuming life will always provide me with a tomorrow and that yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll plan something to do this weekend. And then something always comes up to knock our plans off balance. Sky has somewhere to go, I need to finish something, we need to go food shopping… Life gets in the way.
Sometimes it feels like we are comrades in the trenches going out into our day and returning exhausted to base camp in the evening.
Here are a few ways to remind yourself you are married
1. Make every occasion a date
That’s right. When Seth goes out for the paper in the morning, he brings back tea and coffee for us. I am usually still half asleep when he puts my cup of chamomile tea with lemon, fragrant and hot, next to me. It may not be dinner at Daniel but it is our morning date and I really look forward to it.
2. Turn monster times into memorable moments
OK, the ER was tough. But we made the most of being together in a tough situation. It was not as much fun as the no-tell motel adventure but we made the best of it and made some friends among the orthopedic residents and nurses. Like Dr. Krantzow who is someone who took great care of Seth. After all we’ve been through together, we could go out and pick curtains together.
3. Find the humor
Seth is really good at this. He flirted with the triage nurses, told jokes to the X-ray technicians, made the residents laugh with his tasteless jokes. It actually made the time pass quickly between tests, consultations, waiting and freaking out.
Alisa Bowman touched upon this in a post where she asked how to have a happier relationship with a man. Here’s an excerpt:
“Either way, the hard time you’re having probably won’t define your entire life together, so work on staying as connected as you can, as loving “as you can, as forgiving as you can, and then dig in your heels and ride it out to smoother waters.”
If you ever think you can’t make time to spend with your husband, think again or you will find him half naked with someone else like a cute ER doctor.
Quality time is what you make of it, whether it is in the emergency room or the bedroom.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
Seth, my favorite lunch date
“We have just passed half a million hours worth of three kids. Happy anniversary!”
How could you not love a guy who can find a reason to celebrate all kinds of momentous occasions in life?
Our many years of marriage has taken us through, yes, three kids, Jewish and Chinese in-laws, careers, ups and downs. What I believe is the secret to our relationship and to all successful relationships is a part of the body, often overlooked because of hair.
Curious?
I knew you would be.
OK, its your ears.
Alisa Bowman wrote a great piece about listening on her blog. Here’s an excerpt that resonated with me:
“Listen for the feelings behind the words. There are two kinds of listening–listening for information and listening for feelings. Listening for information is the way most of us have learned to listen. For instance, when I list the ways I’m frustrated at work and my husband tries to fix it, that’s listening for information.
The second kind of listening is listening for the feelings behind the words. When I asked the parent how it was for her, she was able to tell me what she was really worried about. When you listen, you want to hear the information, but you also want to hear the feelings, too.”
You can read it here.
Mildred, my Jewish mother-in-law, was a big believer that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Ming, my mom, felt that way too. They were both great cooks and had long, loving marriages.
I would love to be a better cook. But I am better with my ears and perhaps the way to a man’s soul is listening to what he has to say.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
I write about the art of happiness with style notes for creative people who want to make life their everyday passion. What's yours? 
