In the current reincarnation of my life, I am surrounded by boys.
Seth, my husband, Remy and Sky, my sons, their friends, and all the contractors and repair guys that come to fix everything that my boys try their hand at doing. Just because Jesus was a carpenter doesn’t mean that all Jewish guys can build stuff. Especially in my family. Me, I can run a nonprofit. Running pipe and wire is not in my skill set. Most of the time, I am odd man out.
One day last summer, on an island near Seattle, there was a sound that instantly transformed me for one glorious moment into one of the boys.
It was a soft, crackly sound followed by a delighted giggle. You hear it when a basketful of peanuts is being passed around the table and the shells are tossed on the sawdust floors of a barbeque shack known for its ribs, rowdy music and down home decor.
“You mean, I can just throw the shells on the floor?” Sky asked excitedly, his arm ready to sweep the pile of peanut shells on to the floor. Remy and I ate our way through the basket of peanuts laughing as we flung fistfuls of shells at our feet. Seth caught all of the action on his Flip video. ”This place is great!”
Was it the museums, the cultural events, the marketplace that my boys remember about Seattle? Not really. Was it the fun we had spitting shells on the floor. Absolutely. We still talk about the ferry ride over to this island barbeque place with its unique menu and peanut shell policy. For me, it was a precious point in our trip where we were all just boys, me too! having a great time with each other.
As we were driving Remy out to Stonybrook, I thought about a day this summer that we were all together again, travelling around Queens, and I wondered if they remembered that day. We settled into a local restaurant Remy and I discovered earlier this summer and ordered lunch. Suddenly, all of us – Seth, Sky, Remy and I were laughing again as we ordered all kinds of combinations of bread, cheese and pasta. Everything a lactose intolerant Asian like me should not be eating but hey, the foccacia was fabulous! So good we ordered two.
Now I don’t pretend to understand how the universe of boys works, what makes them think one thing is stupid and another thing is legit, primo, fly, ill, wavy or crunk (Impressed? I just learned that stuff means “cool”).
Note to self: If you even think you know what is cool, they will cut you down to size and squish your head.
the boys – Sky, Remy & Seth
When such a moment arrives in your life, enjoy it. I am forever grateful they let me in their world as one of the boys once in a while so we can share a few laughs and a lot of carbs together.
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So am I. In fact, I am forever seeking the perfect beach experience and that journey begins with – the beach chair.
Our chairs bit the dust yesterday so today we embarked on a hunt for the best, best priced and best looking beach chairs.
What I look for
Over years of beach bumming, I have come up with a descriptive list of the perfect beach chair. It must be:
Light
Easy to fold up
Reclinable
Equipped with a place to put stuff like a water bottle, sunglasses, phone, a couple of bucks for Italian ices
Dealbreakers:
Sunshade
Insulated cooler pack
Shoulder straps
Settle? Never!
We cruised up Beach 116th Street but the selection was not good. Not bad for a daytripper but not good for a local.
On to Broad Channel where a guy sells stuff out of his truck on Cross Bay Boulevard.
“Chair or umbrella?” he smiles hopping out of his van where Bob Marley and the Wailers was playing. He had a range of chairs but his prices were all upper end and he was not interested in negotiating or handling. I suppose if you position yourself as the Last Chance Beach Chair Stand you can charge big dollars.
We headed out to Lawrence and to Costco – the mecca of massive shopping.
“Let’s see if we can go in and get only what we came for – beach chairs.” I gave Seth a look that could only mean Ha! Are you kidding? as I manouevered an oversized shopping cart down the aisle. “Let the games begin!”
Luckily, my friend Edy who lives a block away from the beach was already at Costco and had told me about a great beach chair by Tommy Bahama that was on sale for about twenty bucks. And there they were! We quickly scanned them against our Checklist of Beach Chair Virtues and voila! Not only were they were perfect, they also had a place to hang your beach towel and a pillow for your head.
OK, all you beach bums. Our beach experience rocks and so can yours!
Check out the Tommy Bahama beach chairs at your local Costco and if you are able to leave with just those, let me know how you did it!
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I am trying to enter my credit card information so that my data plan can renew automatically every month but I keep getting an error message asking me to validate my billing address. No matter what I do, AT & T will not accept where I live. They have cut off my service and everyone I have spoken to over the past few days cannot help me. They cannot even take my information over the phone because this is a “self serve account”.
When I am in the supermarket with Seth, we like to go through the Self Check-Out line where we scan, bag and pay ourselves.
Sweet!
I think the idea is great but I wonder if the cashiers will become as scarce as toll booth collectors since the rise of EZ Pass. However, you will always need to have a person standing by to help you out when something doesn’t scan properly, or if the machine cannot read the barcode.
To help you out.
So, imagine my shock when AT & T shut off my data plan because they needed 72 hours to find somebody to resolve on the problem.
Somebody?
I thought “self serve” means that iPad users manage their own accounts. That’s why the very nice people answering the phones could not fix the problem. Then who is the somebody who is going to fix it?
“I cannot take your information over the phone but I would be glad to walk through the self serve process with you again.” said the pleasant but useless AT & T service person on the phone with me.
Are you kidding?
Where is the person that fixes self serve problems? They always have one at the ready in the supermarkets.
Why doesn’t AT & T?
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I told the kids we were going out and coming back late.
I can’t believe I let him talk me into doing this. A casual suggestion to do a little something different, something unplanned, un peurisque for a midweek date -I am intrigued and worried at the same time. After twenty five years of marriage, three kids and a second opinions for every doctor’s appointment, for me an act of risk is going outside with my hair wet so of course, I said OK. We were on vacation, what could be so bad?
G00d, I don’t want them to know what we’re doing.
Or throw a party.
Exactly.
The place we’re going to is known locally as the No Tell Motel and we knew a woman from the neighborhood who told us that was where she and her lover would meet and now, here we are. Just like everybody else looking for a few private hours and just like everything in life, there is a method to this madness, a protocol of private affairs.
What better place for two exhausted nonprofit professionals to add a little zip to a relationship, to reboot a romance or simply escape into a getaway experience than your local cash only motel? So, do you walk in together? Do you say hello if you recognize someone – now that would be interesting! Someone should really write a field guide for situations like this.
Where do people park? Right in front of the place across the street from Bella Frutta? What if all those moms waiting for their kids at Fazio’s Dance Studio look out the window? Oh my God, they might see me and then what?!!? They’ll think we’re sneaking around.
But we’re married and sneaking around. That’s acceptable.
Did he really just say that?
Until you get caught. Men… you are all alike.
So, you want to wait in the parking lot?
Yes!
Seth got out to register leaving me surrounded by other women in parked cars checking their looks in the mirror and putting on dark sunglasses. One by one they picked up their cellphones and got out of their cars pivoting on their stilettos and disappearing into the back door of the motel. I made up a little game trying to guess what the story was behind each tryst. “She’s his secretary, no – his best friend’s secretary and he probably told his wife he was at a golf outing. And that one is thinking how clever he is, never going for a friend of his wife or a wife of a friend. ” My observations were cut short by the ringing of my cellphone. The woman in the car next to me smiled knowingly. How dare she think I was a cliche, one of those Other Women Waiting In Cars? I am a married woman, an executive director, and clearly someone indignant about being noticed as, well, a woman waiting for a phone call. I glared back and suddenly realized by the ring on her finger that she was married too – and probably a non profit arts administrator. We could exchange business cards. I barked an angry hello into my phone.
Wait til you see the room! It’s got this huge Jacuzzi and mirrors everywhere.
I asked the guy if you need to make reservations, he just smiled and said no. Its mostly a walk – in, short stays, bring your own champagne and cash kind of business.
You brought champagne?
Just a little something to relax us before I turn into a love machine, my darling.
Suddenly, Seth’s voice became a large growly sort of rumble. It slowly grew into a low roar.
I could not catch a single word he was saying.
What’s going on? Are you OK?
Sorry, that was the ice machine.
I’m doomed.
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Almost every day I hear someone say, “I want to be my own boss.”
To start a dance company, open a chain of pastry shops, create a web business, make art and sell it.
After I watched this video by Fred Wilson on this very topic, I would like to offer the following thoughts for anyone who is considering striking out on their own and being their own boss.
Ask yourself:
What kind of place would you like to spend the next ten years of your life working in?
Who would you like spending time with – you, a partner, a small group, large company?
What kind of money do you need to make?
What lifestyle do you want to have?
He advises people to think carefully about these questions, then work backwards and plan accordingly. He describes ten examples of being your own boss so that you can compare notes with yourself to see which of those suits your particular set of goals.
I would add another question to the list above:
How can you create a better world?
It seems to me that any endeavor with that question running through its DNA is destined to rally community, and customers.
Enjoy the video.
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the boys – Sky, Remy & Seth
