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photo by jaquandor
Listen, it is hard work running around in a skimpy star spangled body suit saving the world.
I used to wonder, “Is it just me or do other superheroines get cranky and tired, too?” And whether or not they do, I do. My superpowers start fizzling when I don’t get enough sleep or if I skip too many days without running. Don’t even talk to me about how mad my body gets at me – revenge is always humbling. There is no way I am going to get myself in any kind of Wonder Woman outfit without paying my dues.
Stuff has a way of getting in front of me. I get distracted when something falls on my desk and must be taken care of immediately, or if my eye catches an email that pops up screaming, “Urgent!”, or if someone tells me they need my input right now or everything will come to a grinding halt. The world will explode. Deadlines will leave us dead in their wake. People will be disappointed. And it will be all my fault.
I know. I will just take care of one more thing before I start my day and one more thing at the end of my day. That way, I will have less to do during my day. Of course, all of you brilliant people know what happens. You have more to do before, during and after your day. Who thought this was a good idea?
Hmmm, maybe I could ask someone to help me out. But how could anyone do as good a job as me? No one can do what I do because I am Wonder Woman. Well, no one is doing anything, probably relaxing and reading a great beach book somewhere, and I am doing everything. Sound familiar?
OK. You get the picture. Maybe you do some of these things too. So, what is a modern Amazon warrior woman to do to keep up her powers, her physique and her pleasant demeanor? I have decided to stop trying to be the most amazing, capable, stupendously efficient super woman and allow myself to gracefully fall to earth.
Here’s how I did it
Take time for yourself
I allow myself lots of time to putter around and not feel guilty about accomplishing nothing. This is not easy for list checkers like me but it works really well if you lose the list.
Say no
“Mom?”
“No.”
“Darling, can you – “
“No.”
“Hoong Yee, you must – “
“No.”
It is amazing how much other people can do when you say no.
Call upon your fellow superheroes
This simple act can transform your life. I believe people need to be needed. And everybody wants to feel that what they do is valued. Asking for help can actually help you build a team that will work with you to do what you believe in.
Stop, look and love what you did
I spend way more time angsting about getting stuff done than appreciating what I did. In fact, I sometimes forget to look back and acknowledge my achievement. No wonder I feel like a hamster in a wheel. It is a stubborn habit to break but I do try to give myself and everyone else a moment to bask in our successes and fistbump our fabulousness.
Enjoy being a speck
My mom’s favorite saying. No matter how important we think our work is, we are just specks in the universe. So I try to do my best every day and be the best speck I can be, but I also don’t kill myself when things don’t work out. And neither should you. My mother wouldn’t like that.
Order in
You’re busy. You have a lot on your plate. Spend your time and energy on what is truly important. You.
Keep those menus handy.
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If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
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Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
photo by rennan
I suppose the first thing most of us do when receiving checks in the mail for unimaginable amounts of money is to shriek and start to twist and shout uncontrollably. At least, that is what I do.
It seems almost counterintuitive to do anything else but there is something that I do that does seem strange.
I take a deep breath, shake myself out of my celebrating frenzy and I pick up the phone to ask the person why they are giving me money.
That’s right. I question their judgment. Politely, of course, but determined to understand why.
I want to know what was it about my letter, my application, my anything that impressed them. I want to know how well my request reflects their needs. I want to know what was weak. I want to know if they are excited about my project and why.
Most of the time, people will be very nice about sharing this information with you. A lot of them are surprised that I am asking, “Usually it is the person that did not get money that calls asking why, not the person who did get money.”
Let me share a little secret with you
I am a funder too. Every year I read a stack of applications and actively participate in animated conversations over who deserves funding and how much.I would love to talk to an applicant and encourage them to tweak something in their narrative or rethink their workplan. To share some insight that could transform their application into a success one.
I am in the business of funding creative people. I want to help people become better at pitching their story and writing successful grants, especially the ones who call for panel comments when they are not given funding. It will demonstrates to me that you are passionate about what you do and you care about what people think of your work. Do this whenever you get money too. This is not done often enough and it should be the one of the first things you do.
I also send out letters of inquiry, grant applications and requests for funding to support the work I do. I win some and I lose some. But regardless of the outcome, I always call. I can’t think of a better place to really start building a strong relationship with a person than in this very situation. Your dream, their money. Face it, it’s like being married.
Here’s what I include in every conversation with someone who gives me money and who doesn’t give me money:
Start every conversation with a thank you
Acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge. Let people know how much you appreciate their support.
Ask for panel comments
By understanding how people judge merit is often an eye opening experience. It can help you be more competitive if you know what criteria are more important to them than others. You can also get a sense of the pool of applicants and the kinds of projects you are up against.
Listen and take really good notes
You are not going to remember anything if you don’t write it down. Repeat an answer for clarity if you need to. Make sure you keep a record of your notes so that you can refer to them quickly the next time your speak to them.
Thank them for their time
Be grateful for their help. Always begin and end with acknowledging a person by thanking them. Be sure they are left with a good impression of you as a conscientious and gracious person.
Someone it would be a pleasure to continue giving money to.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
running on the beach in Rockaway
I confess.
I am the first one to say, “Oh, its raining? Too bad, I’ll just sleep in this morning.”
Then I will roll over and hug my pillow even harder to get a few more hours of sleep. Andrea, my running buddy, is the biggest reason that I drag myself out of bed and out to the beach at 5:00 am – I can’t deal with the guilt.
Besides, there has never been a day, ever, that hasn’t been wonderful after a morning beach run. The five mile stretch we cover delivers us a beautiful sunrise as a reward, although somedays it is simply a foggy mist as well as a clear mind, a burst of energy that some people call “the runner’s high”, and a heightened sense of awareness that lasts the whole day.
From the Art of Manliness, here is an excerpt that I love that gives us reasons to embrace running:
Made to Move
![]( "run")
“Nearly every top killer in the Western world–heart disease, stroke, diabetes, depression, hypertension, and a dozen other forms of cancer–was unknown to our ancestors. They didn’t have medicine, but they did have a magic bullet–or maybe two, judging by the number of digits Dr. Bramble was holding up. “You could literally halt epidemics in their tracks with this one remedy,” he said. He flashed two fingers up in a peace sign, then slowly rotated them downward until they were scissoring through space. The Running Man. “So simple,” he said. “Just move your legs. Because if you don’t think you were born to run, you’re not only denying history. You’re denying who you are.” -Christopher McDougall, Born to Run
Our bodies were made to move. We’re beings of flesh, bone, and muscle. If we weren’t designed to move, we would have evolved to be great blobs of tissue–human clams.
And we didn’t evolve to move slowly, either. We’re made to move vigorously for long periods of time…to run, and run far.
How do we know this? It’s written into our anatomy. Unlike humans, walking animals like chimps lack an Achilles tendon and an ample gluteus maximus–both of which are needed for running–as well as the nuchal ligament, which keeps the head steady when an animal is moving quickly. For a long time scientists puzzled over why we have such features and yet are such seemingly ineffective runners…what was the evolutionary advantage behind our slow and steady running ability?
The answer is “persistence hunting.” Primitive tribes hunted by running down an animal until the prey dropped dead of exhaustion. The fact that humans could run for hours on end without overheating was a distinct survival advantage.”
Made to Think
When I run, I think. Or sometimes I think of nothing. Either way works wonders.
Some people I know use this magical part of the day to write. It is quiet, there are no distractions and your brain is rested and ready to go. Seth is up and taking care of as many details of our lives that he can so that emails are ready to go out, lunches are made, bills are paid and lists are made. Laura Vanderkam offers some insightful suggestions about what successful people do before breakfast.
All of this activity happens in my house on a daily basis before 7:00 am. By the time I am looking at breakfast, my mind is already having lunch. A maximized morning places me in the aheadness part of my day – just where I like to be.
At the edge of the moment and on top of my game.
What are you going to do with the best part of your day?
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
photo by bayan 160
He was tall, dark haired with a thoughtful look in his eyes. Everything about him was right, I knew he was the one who could help me.
I walked towards him, the question burning in my mind, my heart beating a little faster with each step. He was sitting alone and I could easily grab his attention.
I took a deep breath and as soon as the words left my lips, I realized how ridiculous I sounded. My face turned a blushing red, my mouth open in disbelief, my God, how did this happen?
He, however, gazed at me and repeated my question with a faint smile.
“Where can I find romance?”
I felt my ears burn.
“Hard cover or soft cover?”
Gulp. “Hard. I mean, hard cover.”
“Second row of shelves in the back of the library. “ He turned his gaze, thank God, to the next person on the information line as I slipped away.
Where do you find romance?
I prefer less mortifying experiences. But that’s just me. Luckily, the ladies in the Carpool Court agree with me that the search for romance should be a less public endeavor and we have decided to get together for Romance Night at our house. We are going to talk about what we like to read, what authors we follow, what types of characters we are drawn to and what we are going to drink. Not necessarily in that order, of course.
Yes, I admit. I am intrigued with romance. And I think you are too. So what I am going to do is capture some great conversation and write a romance story.
In hard cover.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
When Stravinsky’s Le Sacre du Printemps premiered almost a hundred years ago, people totally freaked out. They walked out, issued death threats, clutched their pearls and stormed out of the performance.
They hated it.
Why?
Probably because it was so new, so raw, sensual and startling in its bold disregard for the more familiar and more conventional forms of music that preceded it.
Probably because it revealed things people were not expecting.
Like inner feelings. Like inner weirdness.
Yes, people love odd stuff
Odd. Good odd, not evil odd. Odd stuff that makes you think or wonder is what people are attracted to. You have an original way of looking at things that people will be curious about. Embrace your oddness.
Yes, you are odd
That’s right. You are. And so am I. In fact, I am intrigued by your oddness and want to know more about you. I am willing to bet there are lots of people who are interested in what you have to offer.
I was absolutely fascinated by the boy of a thousand faces who I saw on Ree Drummond’s blog. Now that boy is going places!
Here’s how I do it
1. Be comfortable in your weirdness
Let me rephrase that. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. People are sheep, they like grazing in the fields of comfort and predictability. They get upset if Bo Peep changes the routine and will do all they can to make their discomfort known. Who’s bigger – you or a bunch of uncomfortable sheep?
2. Be bold
Bold is beautiful. Bold is the new black. Bold is what people remember. Whether you succeed or not, you will be noted for courage and that is worth something.
3. Get used to people staring at you
First, in shock and disapproval (remember the sheep?). Then slowly a glimmer of appreciation will appear in their consciousness eventually transforming into awe. This is the bane of being a celebrity so you might as well get used to it.
4. Package your presence
Here’s some reading to help you along. Normal Gets You Nowhere by Kelly Cutrone is an unabashed call to action for all of you to stop being boring and get out there with your own unexpected uniqueness.
“An invitation to rethink who you are, what you value, and what you want from life, Normal Gets You Nowhere goes beyond how to reinvent yourself and create your own brand, and investigates what it means to live in this world as a tuned-in, caring individual with a passion for making a difference. There’s already an army of super talented uberfreaks changing the world–isn’t it time you joined them?”
5. Leave the party early
There is wisdom in underpromising and overdelivering. There is marketing magic in giving your best and leaving them hungry for more. Never underestimate the amazing ability of reverse psychology when it comes to human perception. People at a party always talk about the ones who come fashionably late and leave early.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
I write for love and money. It is my everyday passion. What's yours? 
