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Sky, far left
“Mom?”
“Mom? I can’t find my cool white tie. Mom?”
I took a deep breath and did my very best evolved Buddhist move. It did the trick. Five minutes later I was burning rubber along the Jackie Robinson Parkway into Forest Hills. Squeaked into a parking spot, slammed the door and tore down Austin Street to Anthony’s, a mens’ shop that always has some stylish expensive looking linen jacket in their window.
“We’re all out of skinny white ties. It is June, you know, lots of weddings, graduations, proms.” I felt my world crumbling. What was I going to do now? The young salesman pulled out several light colored ties. ”Perhaps one of these – “
“Absolutely not. He is wearing black and white. Black shirt, pants, shoes, belt – black. The tie has to be white.” I practically barked at him, startling a man trying on a jacket in the back of the store.
“I do have one white tie left.” He rummaged through the display case and pulled out a wide, white satin tie, slightly wrinkled, but otherwise perfect. ”Give me a minute and I’ll iron it for you.”
I practically floated home with the precious tie. Sky met me at the door. ”I have to meet my friends for pictures. Now!”
Jumped in the truck, tore down the street and pulled up in front of the house. One of the moms helped Sky put his tie on while I fumbled with my camera. When I looked up, the smile on his face made me forget everything except that tonight, the night of his eighth grade prom, was something really special. And you know what? I was so thankful I was able to be part of the craziness with him.
Do you think they’ll play slow music? Who should I dance with? What should I use in my hair, gel or mousse? Did you ever talk about stuff like this with your mom when you were thirteen? Oh, my God, and here we are plotting prom strategy, Sky and me. I took another deep breath and did my best evolved cool Mom move. I just listened and nodded my head non judgmentally.
Every mom standing on the street snapping pictures of this well dressed group of kids had a similar story to tell. For the girls, it was the dress, of course! And the shoes, the makeup, should they wear their hair up or down?
It occurred to me that these kids grew up together from mommy and me classes til now. Many of us moms were waddling around, heavy and pregnant on the beach thirteen summers ago. How lucky they are to have friendships that stretch from sippy cups and strollers to the dawning of their high school years.
“Mom, stop taking pictures.”
“Mom, you should leave now.”
“Mom!”
Sky was right. I stood with the other moms watching the kids clambering into cars and driving off to the party of their young lives.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
This post first appeared on The World’s Strongest Librarian
photo by jag9889
I have a secret superpower.
It is my amazing ability to change my world into syllables.
The girl who makes me a cappuccino in the local Italian bakery tossed me an approving nod the other day when I told her every meeting I have deserves una bella scatola di biscotti.
“You are – ” she leaned over the counter and pushed the bakery box filled with hazelnut and chocolate biscotti towards me. ” – how you say, smart? No, not smart.” I kept smiling although I wasn’t sure where she was going with this and I was still waiting for my cappuccino.
“You know how to – fix things. Like a the guy who come to clean out that stupid pipe in the back. Madonna! What a mess.”
I slowly started to turn on my superpowers to take control of the world. Take a deep breath, clear my thoughts, focus my mind on the task before me.
Coo-kies and cof-fee…
I lowered my eyes and pulled out my unread New York Times and concentrated on changing her from an absent minded bakery employee into an efficient milk steaming barista.
For a morn-ing meet-ing of…
She turned to her machines and started making the coffee. Suddenly she slapped her forehead and said with a wide eyed look of triumph, “Ah! I know. You know what you are?”
So close, my cappuccino is so close. Must remain calm and the world will be mine. All I need is one more line and my coffee.
“Di me, bella. What?” I said in my best superhero-under-duress voice.
In a conspiratorial whisper she breathed, “You are one of - i cognoscenti, the people who know.”
I cognoscenti.
I cog-no-scen-ti
I closed my hands around the coffee cup she handed me and I opened my eyes to meet hers.
Cookies and coffee
for a morning meeting of
i cognoscenti
Perfect.
Mission accomplished, with cookies for later, coffee for now and my morning captured forever in a spillproof haiku. But what impressed me more was an article in the newspaper that caught my eye as I was syllabicating the world to my liking (is that really a word?). I realized that my superpowers pale in comparison to what the deceptively simple haiku can accomplish.
What can a haiku do?
It can transform a one of the city’s largest eyesore of a landfill into “urban oasis with wildlife habitats, horseback riding, mountain biking and meandering nature trails”. The City’s Parks Department invited people to envision what this future Staten Island park could be like in a seventeen syllable snapshot, a haiku. The results of their third annual Freshkills Haiku Contest include this gem:
Somewhere underneath
The bike paths I will ride on
My old love letters
-Stevie D’Arbanville
Imagine that! The power of i cognoscenti in seventeen syllables can change the world, one landfill at a time.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
photo by rennan
I suppose the first thing most of us do when receiving checks in the mail for unimaginable amounts of money is to shriek and start to twist and shout uncontrollably. At least, that is what I do.
It seems almost counterintuitive to do anything else but there is something that I do that does seem strange.
I take a deep breath, shake myself out of my celebrating frenzy and I pick up the phone to ask the person why they are giving me money.
That’s right. I question their judgment. Politely, of course, but determined to understand why.
I want to know what was it about my letter, my application, my anything that impressed them. I want to know how well my request reflects their needs. I want to know what was weak. I want to know if they are excited about my project and why.
Most of the time, people will be very nice about sharing this information with you. A lot of them are surprised that I am asking, “Usually it is the person that did not get money that calls asking why, not the person who did get money.”
Let me share a little secret with you
I am a funder too. Every year I read a stack of applications and actively participate in animated conversations over who deserves funding and how much.I would love to talk to an applicant and encourage them to tweak something in their narrative or rethink their workplan. To share some insight that could transform their application into a success one.
I am in the business of funding creative people. I want to help people become better at pitching their story and writing successful grants, especially the ones who call for panel comments when they are not given funding. It will demonstrates to me that you are passionate about what you do and you care about what people think of your work. Do this whenever you get money too. This is not done often enough and it should be the one of the first things you do.
I also send out letters of inquiry, grant applications and requests for funding to support the work I do. I win some and I lose some. But regardless of the outcome, I always call. I can’t think of a better place to really start building a strong relationship with a person than in this very situation. Your dream, their money. Face it, it’s like being married.
Here’s what I include in every conversation with someone who gives me money and who doesn’t give me money:
Start every conversation with a thank you
Acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge. Let people know how much you appreciate their support.
Ask for panel comments
By understanding how people judge merit is often an eye opening experience. It can help you be more competitive if you know what criteria are more important to them than others. You can also get a sense of the pool of applicants and the kinds of projects you are up against.
Listen and take really good notes
You are not going to remember anything if you don’t write it down. Repeat an answer for clarity if you need to. Make sure you keep a record of your notes so that you can refer to them quickly the next time your speak to them.
Thank them for their time
Be grateful for their help. Always begin and end with acknowledging a person by thanking them. Be sure they are left with a good impression of you as a conscientious and gracious person.
Someone it would be a pleasure to continue giving money to.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
Donna Brodie, of the Writers Room, in her ecstatic footwear
She was lovely to behold, in the way someone you think of fondly looks when you see them after a long time.
The way she tossed her hair, now shoulder length and full, swirling her ice coffee, bracelets jangling on her slender wrist. How I missed her!
She eyed my shopping bag with a slow smile, “Anything fabulous?”
Fabulous? These boots by Anita Moser are fabulous, in my opinion.
I confess, I am longing to take another shoemaking class so that I can make a pair of boots.
I pulled out the white shirtdress with the amazing pleating at the waist that reminded me of the style she always preferred – fitted waist with a flared skirt to highlight her hourglass figure. She practically leaped out from behind her desk to take a closer look at the stitching detail.
And that is when I saw them.
Her deep lilac vegan peep toe wedge sandals from Payless. She practically floated in them. “They match my golf shorts, I love the color, they were fifteen bucks – I am absolutely crazy about them and the price!”
She was radiant. She was poetry in motion.
Keep this in mind
I write a lot about shoes, why you need stilettos, how I was determined to learn how to make my own. To me, they hold a special place between you and the earth. They govern your movement and your posture. Shoes are the foundation of how you present yourself to the world each day. Here are some things about shoes to keep in mind:
Color
Be bold and put some unexpected color on your feet. Somehow, you will find something in your closet that will match. If not, oh well, you’ll have to go shopping and find something that does. The effect you will have on people will be unexpected and unforgettable.
Height
Notice I did not say stature. That is psychological height. I mean the arch and the heel of the shoe and how the shoe lengthens your leg. Not the job for a ballet flat.
Detail
A perky bow? A little toe cleavage? A shaped heel? Small details, big impact.
Elevation
I am talking about your spirits. Do you feel like a million bucks in your fifteen dollar shoes? This is a case of reverse gravity – your sense of Wow! flows upward from the tips of your shoes to the top of your head.
Isn’t it a wonderful thing when you can find a pair of shoes that can carry you joyfully through your day? Simple joys are great pleasures.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
photo by thomas ludovic
Is this you?
You have a dream you carry with you as you go to work in the morning. It sits on your shoulder whispering in your ear that you should be doing something about it. Now. You look longingly at artists who do what they love to do and succeed. Why, if you were given the chance you could do it too. You could be premiering your new dance at the Joyce SoHo. You could be dashing off to a whirlwind of book signings around the country. Your sculptures could adorn the lawns of Governor’s Island.
All of this is is what you have a burning desire to do. To be the creator of your passion project.
Your Passion Project
“But I work. I have a big job, a family with a bunch of kids. I am super busy.”
Yes, and so is the rest of humanity. Here’s a secret from the Universe of Successful People:
You will never have the time to do what you love. You will have to seize, imprison, and grab every moment by the neck. Every single day. Life will whoosh you along into an endless stream of everyday busyness that will distract you from focusing on doing your passion project.
A passion project is a demanding mistress who expects no less than your undivided attention. You know the saying about a woman spurned. That kind of hellish fury you don’t need. And besides, it will be something worse. Fury comes and goes. Regret can last a lifetime.
“But I need money to make art. ”
Show Me The Money
I have spoken to hundreds of artists over the past ten years and have recommended many for funding. The artists who are successful in writing killer grants, attracting donations and loyal audiences are not always the best at what they do, or the most talented. What they all possess is a singular combination of vision, perseverance, artistic integrity and passion. I have bought pieces from artists because I liked the way their eyes lit up speaking about their work. I have supported dancers who could paint a vivid picture of a set of choreographed works they are working on. And I am not alone in being swept up in the passion of an artist who loves her work. Such an artist can build an army of lifelong patrons who want to be part of that unique passion.
I have seen people raise a lot of money by putting their heart into what they do. I have seen people raise money and drop weight. What I never see is people buying into boring stuff.
Make passionate work. Talk about it. Money will follow.
Get more Wow!
If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:
Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good
Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit
Style Notes from me, your artspy
Hoong Yee
– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day
– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)
– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.
Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?
I write for love and money. It is my everyday passion. What's yours? 
