Bridges And Castles: A Gift From My Brilliant Father

photo by rqerita

I spent this morning talking to my mom about my dad.

“Remember that car he drove when he was in Texas?  It used to get so hot that he tried to fry an egg on it,”  both of us laughing because that was so like him.   He would open cans of ravioli and vegetables and heat them on the stove for my sister and me when we were little.  Then we would stand by the stove and eat out of the cans.  No pots, no dishes to wash.

Very efficient.

Yes, he was an engineer.  Capable of figuring out amazingly complex things and yet, clueless in the everyday world we lived in.

Now, on Father’s Day, Seth and I were on a trolley crossing a bridge from San Diego to Coronado and the guide said,  “You’ll notice that the bridge has a few odd twists  to it.  That is because it had to be high enough for navy ships to pass under it but that made it too steep for trucks and buses so the bridge so they added a few extra turns and loops.”  I was fascinated.  Then I realized this was exactly how my father felt every time we crossed a bridge that had a unique structure or detail to it.  I remember him pulling the car off the road, not to admire the view, what a silly thought, but to examine the beams of a bridge.  He said there was great beauty in the solution the engineers came to in answering the simple yet difficult problem of how to cross from one side to another.  Form and function fused in a steely poem.  Of course, I thought he was nuts and what on earth could be so interesting about a bridge?

When I think sit down to play through my well worn book of piano sonatas, I feel the same thrill he did.  I often stop and scrutinize the beginning theme, the key changes, the codas and the variations  and come away in awe of how brilliantly Beethoven created his musical answer to the classical sonata form.

And this is something I do whenever I see a structure in life that is beautiful in form and function.  The bridge in San Diego, the well thought out presentation by Jean Bonilla about the potential of entrepreneurship in global economies at the Americans for the Arts Convention this past weekend in San Diego, an etude by Chopin.  I look for the structural thinking and the details that make it soar.   I think like my father, the engineer.

He would smile knowing that I love bridges and how that has helped me see the inner logic of an engineer’s mind as well as the inner castles of a composer’s inspiration.

What a gift.

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Hoong Yee

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The Art Of Converting A Cold Call Into A Sponsorship

photo by DALIAWMN

There is definitely something disturbingly herd like in this photo.

People, mostly women, on the phones all day.  Mostly connecting callers to the callees.  In a way, I think I do that too.  The difference is that once the connection is made, the job of these operators is done.  For me, the job has just begun.

My friend Andrea and I were running this morning on the beach and she told me that somehow, a cold call from a large financial investment company came through to her direct line.  Usually, her staff chews up and spits out these calls as they come in so the fact that this one made it through was quite remarkable.  The person calling was a young person, probably a summer intern, inviting Andrea to a networking cocktail party in the hopes of getting some business and referrals from her.

“OK, you are inviting me and how many other people to this party?”  I could see Andrea pinching the phone with her shoulder tapping at her calculator impatiently.  She has a meeting tonight with her committee that is setting up a series of breakfasts, workshops and other events for CPAs and was putting her stuff together.

“What?  Six people?  Let me ask you something.  This cocktail party is going to cost you, maybe, $100.  You are going to spend $100 to shmooze 6 people.  That’s about $15 bucks a person.  Now, do you think that is a cost effective way to build new business?”

“Uh, no.  Could you bring a friend or – “

“No.  This is what I am going to do.  I am going to speak to your supervisor and offer her the opportunity to sponsor my twelve breakfast seminars and get in front of 700 accountants who will agree to have you come to their office to make a presentation.  If she agrees to do this, I will make sure to introduce her from the podium and give you props.  You have five minutes to get her on the phone.”

Andrea is my running buddy and my CPA.  She is usually right about everything that has to do with those two things.  Especially when it comes down to making it a habit to run at 5:30 am and to making money.  This kid on the phone did what I did.  I listened to Andrea.

The company jumped at the chance to sponsor the twelve breakfast seminars.  ”It was simple.  What was I going to bring to contribute to tonight’s meeting?  I needed something worthwhile.  This company needed business.  Instead of spending a few dollars and getting me and five other people at a cocktail party, I am letting them spend a few more dollars and getting me and a ballroom filled with accountants and CPA’s.

Everybody wins.  And you know why?  Because I resisted the temptation to slam the phone down.  I took a deep breath and thought about it.”

I think Andrea is well on her way from being a hyper caffeinated A personality person to being more Buddhist like.

A Belle Harbor Buddha.  Which brings me to the following points about how you, too, can approach Neponsit Nirvana and still run with sand in your shoes:

Buddhist in Training

Do the opposite of what you want to do right now

Sometimes the best thing to do is the thing you can’t imagine doing.  For example, actually listening to a sales pitch from a total stranger.  Andrea’s sharp ears picked up the sound of opportunity and the rest is history.

Open your ears, your mind and shut your mouth

I always like to remind you that you can learn a lot about a person in a conversation where you do more listening than talking.  Information is power.

Act like a speck, not a spectacle

Be humble.  Everything you achieve is relative to the bigger universe.  I am sure Andrea’s committee will be thrilled when she talks about this.  But she will be on the beach with me again at 5:30 am tomorrow morning and running towards a new day.

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Style Notes from me, your artspy

Hoong Yee

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Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?

Does Conference Blogging Make Me Look Fat?

photo by Mike Licht

I am flying to San Diego on Thursday to attend the Americans for the Arts Convention.  I am going to be one of the convention bloggers and a panelist for a session about building community, the arts and social justice.

What I hope to do is produce a few posts that capture the personality of the speakers, some key points, insights and take aways from the audience and – sketches of people I like.

People love when I draw them.  I do my best to capture their personality in a few quick strokes and their clothing in colors, thanks to Sktechbook Pro, the drawing app I use on my iPad.  Here are a few from the last NTen Conference this past March.

I try not to make anyone look horrible.  I know how upset I would be if someone drew me funny looking so I make every effort to bring out a person’s best side.  For someone who took art lessons as a kid using paint, charcoal, pen and ink on paper, I feel somewhat like a traitor using a stylus and a screen.

Here’s what I carry in my artist case:

1. my iPad
2. my stylus
3. my Canon G10 digital camera
4. my Android Charge phone
5. chargers for all of the above

It doesn’t sound terribly romantic or artsy.  And I have to confess, I really don’t like shlepping all of that stuff around.  It’s heavy and feels kind of impersonal in my hands.  But I love love love how the sketches come out and how immediately I can share them with the world.

And isn’t that what you want to do when you create a piece of art?

Stay tuned.

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If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:

Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good

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Style Notes from me, your artspy

Hoong Yee

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– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested

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Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.

Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?

Wonder Woman Alert: How To Avoid Burn Out And Burnt Dinners

photo by jaquandor

Listen, it is hard work running around in a skimpy star spangled body suit saving the world.

I used to wonder, “Is it just me or do other superheroines get cranky and tired, too?”  And whether or not they do, I do.  My superpowers start fizzling when I don’t get enough sleep or if I skip too many days without running.  Don’t even talk to me about how mad my body gets at me – revenge is always humbling.  There is no way I am going to get myself in any kind of Wonder Woman outfit without paying my dues.

Stuff has a way of getting in front of me.  I get distracted when something falls on my desk and must be taken care of immediately, or if my eye catches an email that pops up screaming, “Urgent!”, or if someone tells me they need my input right now or everything will come to a grinding halt.  The world will explode.  Deadlines will leave us dead in their wake.  People will be disappointed.  And it will be all my fault.

I know.  I will just take care of one more thing before I start my day and one more thing at the end of my day.  That way, I will have less to do during my day.  Of course, all of you brilliant people know what happens.  You have more to do before, during and after your day.  Who thought this was a good idea?

Hmmm, maybe I could ask someone to help me out.  But how could anyone do as good a job as me?  No one can do what I do because I am Wonder Woman.  Well, no one is doing anything, probably relaxing and reading a great beach book somewhere, and I am doing everything.  Sound familiar?

OK.  You get the picture.  Maybe you do some of these things too.  So, what is a modern Amazon warrior woman to do to keep up her powers, her physique and her pleasant demeanor?  I have decided to stop trying to be the most amazing, capable,  stupendously efficient super woman and allow myself to gracefully fall to earth.

Here’s how I did it

Take time for yourself

I allow myself lots of time to putter around and not feel guilty about accomplishing nothing.  This is not easy for list checkers like me but it works really well if you lose the list.

Say no

“Mom?”

“No.”

“Darling, can you – “

“No.”

“Hoong Yee, you must – “

“No.”

It is amazing how much other people can do when you say no.

Call upon your fellow superheroes

This simple act can transform your life.  I believe people need to be needed.  And everybody wants to feel that what they do is valued.  Asking for help can actually help you build a team that will work with you to do what you believe in.

Stop, look and love what you did

I spend way more time angsting about getting stuff done than appreciating what I did.  In fact, I sometimes forget to look back and acknowledge my achievement.  No wonder I feel like a hamster in a wheel.  It is a stubborn habit to break but I do try to give myself and everyone else a moment to bask in our successes and fistbump our fabulousness.

Enjoy being a speck

My mom’s favorite saying.  No matter how important we think our work is, we are just specks in the universe.  So I try to do my best every day and be the best speck I can be, but I also don’t kill myself when things don’t work out.  And neither should you.  My mother wouldn’t like that.

Order in

You’re busy.  You have a lot on your plate.  Spend your time and energy on what is truly important.  You.

Keep those menus handy.

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Hoong Yee

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How To Fill The Street With Teary Eyed Moms Clutching Cameras

Sky, far left

 

“Mom?”

“Mom?  I can’t find my cool white tie.  Mom?”

I took a deep breath and did my very best evolved Buddhist move.  It did the trick.  Five minutes later I was burning rubber along the Jackie Robinson Parkway into Forest Hills.  Squeaked into a parking spot, slammed the door and tore down Austin Street to Anthony’s, a mens’ shop that always has some stylish expensive looking linen jacket in their window.

“We’re all out of skinny white ties.  It is June, you know, lots of weddings, graduations, proms.”  I felt my world crumbling.  What was I going to do now?  The young salesman pulled out several light colored ties.  ”Perhaps one of these – “

“Absolutely not.  He is wearing black and white.  Black shirt, pants, shoes, belt – black.  The tie has to be white.”  I practically barked at him, startling a man trying on a jacket in the back of the store.

“I do have one white tie left.”  He rummaged through the display case and pulled out a wide, white satin tie, slightly wrinkled, but otherwise perfect.  ”Give me a minute and I’ll iron it for you.”

I practically floated home with the precious tie.  Sky met me at the door.  ”I have to meet my friends for pictures.  Now!”

Jumped in the truck, tore down the street and pulled up in front of the house.  One of the moms helped Sky put his tie on while I fumbled with my camera.  When I looked up, the smile on his face made me forget everything except that tonight, the night of his eighth grade prom, was something really special.  And you know what?  I was so thankful I was able to be part of the craziness with him.

Do you think they’ll play slow music?  Who should I dance with?  What should I use in my hair, gel or mousse? Did you ever talk about stuff like this with your mom when you were thirteen?  Oh, my God, and here we are plotting prom strategy, Sky and me.  I took another deep breath and did my best evolved cool Mom move.  I just listened and nodded my head non judgmentally.

Every mom standing on the street snapping pictures of this well dressed group of kids had a similar story to tell.   For the girls, it was the dress, of course!  And the shoes, the makeup, should they wear their hair up or down?

It occurred to me that these kids grew up together from mommy and me classes til now.  Many of us moms were waddling around, heavy and pregnant on the beach thirteen summers ago.  How lucky they are to have friendships that stretch from sippy cups and strollers to the dawning of their high school years.

“Mom, stop taking pictures.”

“Mom, you should leave now.”

“Mom!”

Sky was right.  I stood with the other moms watching the kids clambering into cars and driving off to the party of their young lives.

Get more Wow!

If you want style notes and more for people who change the world, please check out:

Getting to Wow! to feel good, do good and look good

Nonprofit Knitwear for all things knit and nonprofit

Style Notes from me, your artspy

Hoong Yee

– Subscribe and get a little Wow! every day

– Forward the link to someone you think would be interested

– Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @hylkrakauer)

– Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update

Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.

Word of mouth is the best way to share, don’t you agree?