photo by Larry Lars

Beware of vampires.  Especially vampires who prey on restless creatives like you.

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone that left you feeling completely drained with an overwhelming desire to bang your head on the wall and scream?  That is usually what happens when you have been bitten by one of these vampires.

As a “silver stake” to use against these dark creatures, here is step 5 from a Twelve Step Plan for Restless Creatives.

In case you missed the first 4 steps, they are:

1 Get over yourself

2 Get off the grid

3 Get local

4 Bring on color

OK all you night owls, this step is for you.

5 Avoid vampires

Are there people in your life that drain your creative juices, your lifeblood, your kishkes?

These are vampires that you should avoid with a vengeance!  Here are some of the most common types to be on your guard against and the “silver stake” you can use against them.

Madame Motormouth: This vampire has the unusual ability to never take a breath so you are trapped listening.

Here’s what you do:  Suddenly, make a big deal about pulling out your phone and say, “Hello, is everything OK?”  Then apologize to Madame and tell her something has come up that you must take care of immediately.  Look concerned.

Whine Steward: This vampire is merciless,  not interested in solving the problem;  he just wants to keep you captive and vent.

Here’s what you do:  Put your hand on his arm in sympathy and say,  “How you must suffer!  I hate to leave but I’m sure you have a great solution.  Ciao!”

Chainsaw Fiend: With this vampire you have to beware of sharp blades.  She will cut you down in a heartbeat to build herself up.

Here’s what you do:  Run away from her as fast you can.  If you are socially or physically trapped, do not give her the hurt or horrified look she is expecting.  Imagine what she would look like with a tail, then grin.

Bossy Flossy: This is the Know-It-All vampire that loves to tell you and the rest of the world what to do.

Here’s what you do:  It is futile to tell her you don’t need her advice so the best thing to do is to say,  “That is great advice!  I will certainly give it a shot the next time I find myself in this situation.”  She probably means well and the acknowledgment will stop her momentarily giving you just enough time to look at your watch, exclaim, “Look at the time!  I have to go.” and leave.

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