I thought my body was joking.  My hands, trembling?  Me, wide eyed and hyperventilating?  A sense of doom accompanied by her friends fear and panic, settled on my shoulders like a heavy darkness.

All because I dropped my Blackberry as I was getting a pedicure.

I found myself in total disbelief that my phone was swimming next to my feet and that it could affect me so profoundly.

In fact, I forced myself to not shriek and  grab Seth’s phone, calmed myself down with an extra ten minute massage and we both got a paraffin treatment.  I will not, I will not, I will not be mistaken for a hysterical techno addict.

The girl in the Verizon store understood perfectly.  Even the  part about the paraffin.  “You just needed to comfort yourself and who can make a call with those oven mitts on, anyway.  I wish I could get my boyfriend to do a paraffin treatment with me.”  She assured me that my replacement phone would be speedy fast overnighted immediately and life would go on.

I don’t think so.

Pulling the plug

I am going to practice existing in a disconnected state.  I want to be in control of my stuff.  Not the other way around.  For twenty four hours on Sunday, I did not go within 100 yards of my phone or anyone’s phone.  I did not use a computer, an iPod, or a remote.

Now I did get a head start with my pedicure fiasco earlier this weekend which was a good practice stretch for the real thing.  And let me just say, it was uncomfortable and unsettling.  Just the type of experience I go out of my way to avoid.

I put together a list of things to do in my disconnected state that provided me with  unexpected insight about my daily connected activities.

Here’s my list:

• Call my mother from my house phone and see if I can remember her number.
• Read the Sunday New York Times out of the blue plastic delivery bag, one section at a time, spread all over the couch like a crazy quilt while drinking coffee.  Use a pen to do the crossword puzzle.
• Play the piano.  This is the only thing with a keyboard that’s allowed.
• Finish knitting a sweater I started months ago and write down the pattern on a piece of paper.
• Bake chocolate chip cookies from scratch and then open the back door and shout, “They’re ready!” so Sky and his friends can run back while they’re still hot.
• Look up a recipe in a cookbook my sister gave me and make dinner without using the microwave.
• Walk to the beach to watch the sunset with Seth.  Leave the door unlocked so Sky can find our note and not call us.

All of the above are creative and simple acts of  connecting on a deeper level.  I can see what I am a part of without having to check updates or emails. I know what is important to remember and what is OK to let go of.

We all need to be reminded once in a while.  What would your list look like?

Get disconnected!

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Hoong Yee