Not long ago, after a particularly challenging event, someone I respect very much said to me, ” That was tough.  But you had them eating out of your hands.  You always do.

I do?  I did?

I am sure I tried my best to project confidence but I have to confess – I was a little anxious and being Wow! paled in comparison to getting myself home to my fuzzy pajamas and my knitting.

Some people are just born confident.  Some people “whistle a happy tune and every single time, the happiness in that tune convinces me that I’m not afraid…”.

Here are six sexy secrets that spur my confidence:

Be upfront and personal

Agatha Christie, who knew a thing or two about human nature, said, “Conversation reveals all.”

Be the first one to offer  something of yourself – that you adore Charles Aznevour songs, that you never found a reason to use trigonometry after high school – as a peek into your personality and a place to start a revealing conversation.

Be unapologetic

“If you continue to hang your jacket on the doorknobs and not in the closet, I will simply remove the doorknob.”

You like things just so but others near and dear just could not be bothered.  End of story.  End of doorknob.

Be bold, especially when you make mistakes

“Yes, I’m perfectly sure I know what I’m doing.” Claim to fame or famous last words?

If you talk the talk and walk the walk,  people will believe you.  Even if you end up making a mistake, people will believe in you for trying.

Be good to yourself

In another post, I refer to this secret as an era.  The Era of Not Killing Yourself.  Self confidence, and her partner Self esteem,  sometimes need to sit out a dance or two in the daily pursuit of being Wow!  Should you find yourself falling off your pace, remind yourself that you are in the Era of Not Killing Yourself and head for the punch bowl.

Be the bigger person

As you shoulder your way in to the party, you see him – Mr. Insufferable, chin to shoulder with everyone who is anyone.  Anyone but you, of course.  Before you begin seething beneath your smile, take a deep breath as you begin to Be the Bigger Person by saying hello first.  Quickly dismantle his disdain with a deft compliment.  Something like,  “How nice to see you again!  Have you been working out?”

Who wouldn’t want to have a crowd of people overhear that?

Here’s my personal favorite –

Be able to laugh at yourself

Nothing is as disarming or intriguing as the person who says, “Did I just say that?  Of course it would be me, the one with the shoe obsession to be the first to put my foot in my mouth!”

It makes it clear that you are well aware of your quirks and willing to let everyone enjoy a little laugh at your expense.

My mom, who has taught me some of the best lessons in life, would approve of this.  I got myself into a few pickles as a kid.  I still do.  She would say to me now, as she has said to me so many times before, “Listen, #1 Daughter.  May I remind you that you are just a speck in the universe.  You are not such a big deal.  Lighten up.”

It loses quelque chose in translation but you get the idea.

So…

You will be surprised at the confidence you will inspire by simply following one or two of my secrets. Even if you end up laughing at yourself as a speck.

There is nothing sexier than that.

If you are new to Getting to Wow!, here are more Style Notes and Wow! for you!

Hoong Yee